Sunday, January 6, 2013

An intense love story..an end?

I watched the India-Pakistan match today, and everytime I involuntarily wished I could see Sachin walk in to take guard. Yes, Sachin retired. He will never wear the Indian blue again.

It just took a small press conference, but now I am feeling the enormity of that announcement. This means no more being happy at India's first wicket falling, no more waiting to leap in joy for that flawless cover drive and no more seeing divinity brush shoulders with mortals on a cricket ground. No more Sachin. The thought itself  is scary, disturbing. Accuse me of being melodramatic, I plead guilty.



For a country which is only captivated by actresses, politicians etc.; this man captivated everybody's imagination. A kid to an old man. I think he is one of the few factors common across generations: "I saw Sachin Tendulkar bat". Now coming to think of it, there will now be generations in India which will not be able to see Sachin live on the ground. I don't know whether it was correct for him to retire, but all I am saying is that I miss him. People told it was "logical" for him to retire.

Logical? What is logical in sport, especially with Sachin? Was it logical when he stood alone against the greatest bowling attacks of the world? Was it logical for him to be decimating teams along with carrying a billion expectations? Maybe it was good that he retired, when he still retained the divinity. No debates on how much the team misses Sachin, and even Laxman, Dravid, Ganguly, Kumble. But we miss them too.



We are fortunate to have him in this country. However finally, the little master's love story with India seems to have ended. I am happy to have been part of this affair.If somebody asks me about the highlights of my generation, I will just say this: I have seen Sachin score a hundred hundreds, a double century and lift the world cup. I have seen Sachin Tendulkar bat.


Thursday, January 3, 2013

Rape and everything else

My country was devastated by the recent gruesome rape of the girl in Delhi. It is probably one of the worst crimes "reported" in this country and one of those few which have struck a chord with the nation. I cannot but grieve for the girl's family, and also ask for the most severe punishment. However, I am intrigued as whether the death penalty through fast track courts is really befitting of our society. I understand that this is a heinous crime and it is natural to ask for castration etc., but is that what our society wants? They say, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". Ours is a civilized society and we cannot let some animals get us down to that level.

Instead of concentrating so much on the punishment, should the focus not be on prevention altogether. Assume they are castrated, what is obtained? A few dicks. But the girl is still dead. Her family is still hurt and their hearts broken forever. How does this punishment achieve the purpose? It might make a million people satisfied, but does not bring back that girl. That bright future, that gentle soul. The other question is: why is the government acting now? Of course due to public demand, not out of will. Why death penalty only for rape? Is murder any less horrendous? Is child sexual abuse not bad enough to be fit for such punishments? The list is endless. The focus needs to be on having better laws and more importantly, good implementation.

The recent arrest of the sexual abuser is Bangalore threw another important issue to the focus. This was the 23rd time he was caught for this offence and the past 22 families did not lodge a complaint  due to social stigma. And we, as a society,blame the government for everything? After all, we put them there. This is a time for self introspection. We can chop off a few dicks and we are satisfied? What next? We really need to think how we can tackle this. How the kids are educated to respect people, to understand the difference between good and bad. It is time we introspect if our education system is good, if our ideals are correct. Ours is a country where little girls are still sold off by the family, where innocent children are married off for money. Yes, the punishment needs to be meted out; but I pray it does not stop there. The only way to make sure that the poor girl's death does not go in vain is to work towards ensuring no other girl faces the same.

The change needs to come from us. Our politicians have raped the motherland for decades, this one rape will not change anything. Unless, we are the change. 

Sunday, June 24, 2012

An open letter to Aamir Khan


Dear Aamir,

I wish to congratulate you on the wonderful effort at trying to repay your debt to the society. Your effort is much appreciated, and I was your biggest fan. Please note, "was" your biggest fan. The first few episodes of the show Satyamev Jayate were a massive hit, causing a million people to shed tears. Off-late, your episodes are almost leaning towards taking sides rather than becoming a platform for voicing peoples' opinions. I was thinking as to why this tendancy was not noticed in the initial few episodes? And I seem to have found the answer. 

The first few episodes were about issues such as dowry, woman abuse and female infanticide. These are issues which cannot possibly have two sides, at least going by your show. You show us a video of a woman whose nose was bitten off; there is no human being who can take your opposite side. Therefore, we all agreed with you and your opinions. Then there was a story of a woman whose kids were thrown off the stairs. Again, nobody can disagree. But will you show the store of a man whose life was ruined becasue his wife and her family filed false cases using the Dowry Act? No, you won't and we all know the reason. That won't capture the audiences' attention I guess. I was a huge fan and I have also shed many a tear hearing stories on your TV show. But all thse negative thoughts never came into my head until I saw the last few episodes, especially the one about "Effects of Pesticide".

The Kasargod incident was aired about 5years ago on news channels and is heart warming. The lack of planning in the spraying of pesticides is despicable and no punishment is enough for those responsible. There are NGOs fighting this and people who have given up their lives for this cause. This was aired on CNN-IBN a few years ago. Now my question is: What are you trying to achieve through your show? Is it like a show on Discovery Channel where you give us information that these issues exist in your country? Or is it like a forum where you urge people to take action? I am totally confused now.

You are almost taking on the role of one who has already taken sides and made up his mind before entering an argument. The way the MD of the India Phosphorous Ltd., Mr. Shroff, was made fun of was absolutely unacceptable. What are you trying to achieve? Are you challenging him with your repeated questioning on the alternatives of farming? What did you expect? That he would say: "Thank you for enlightening me Aamir. I now close down my company". It is a friggin 8000 crore rupees turnover company. You make a sarcastic comment and the crowd laughs and this is like a jester leading his monkey on. I noticed one lady who was nodding her head for every comment, both for and against. Who are all these people to laugh at him? If you really thought that by you calling big names and insulting them on stage, you have made your point; you could not have been more wrong. If you are challenging him with an alternaltive, you are asking him to say:"yes we don't need any more pesticides". And assuming that in your utopia, the pesticide industry is closed. Will you employ those people who are emplyed there? They are more than a lakh in number. By stopping pesticides, the productivity will go down. There is no denying it. Who will suppost their sustenance during the transition to Organic Farming?

I don't believe it. This is like a set of 10 people handing out Panacea to the whole world. 

Dear Mr. Aamir Khan, the world is not so black-and-white as you think. I appreciate your effort, and I am fully for the fact that we need a better India and a better society. Let us all work together. But just becasue we follow the show does not in any way put you in a position to take sides and propogate the same via the show. Please give different sides of the story, and let people decide who is wrong and who is wrong. At the beginning of the show you say:"Please use your intelligence to make a decision". And then you have 60% of the show talking about one side of the story and the other 40% insulting the poerson of the other side. Please correct this, else you will lose more fans like me.

Even I conducted a research and it shows that watching TV can cause damage to the eyes. I am sorry, I need to switch off your show as of now. 

Your fan,
Abhiram Kramadhati

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Where is God?

I have read books, heard arguments and seen shows on how we can prove God exists or does not exist. I have thought about it a number of times as well. I don't know why, but I never seem to arrive at a conclusion. Maybe I was too lazy to think it through. On a warm Sunday morning, I am suddenly in the mood to think about this. The human mind is an amazing thing. It can generate thoughts so profound, that you begin to question yourself and the source of these thoughts. Like in the movie Inception, it is impossible to figure out the "origin" of a thought; all you realize all of a sudden is that you are thinking! You don't know how and when it started. In the same way, I have a thought and I need to pen it down. I just have to.

Does God exist? I don't know. What is God? Who is God? I have argued a number of times with numerous people on this issue, and the general consensus is that the fact the most people confuse God with "worship". "I don't believe in God, do you seriously want me to skip food for one whole day!". OK, you are confused that "not eating food for a day" is a form of worship/devotion to God. This defies logic, and thus you don't believe in God. This is just a ritual, and this is also the biggest lie humanity has believed in and still continues to do so. The lie is Ritual=Religion. Assuming there is God, do you seriously think he will be angry if one person somewhere in the corner of the world sat down in the wrong direction? One really does not expect the younger generation to believe in this. This misguided belief is something which is making people move away from Religion. Believe me, being religious does not mean you are to be ritualistic. You can consume alcohol and still be religious. The sooner we see through this mist of confusion, the better it is for us. But this is argument is for another day!

When you see people who are driven to believing in living-Gods like Nirmal Baba etc. , don't laugh at them. It is our system which has driven them there. In this whole system of prayers/rituals, one is so immersed in those activities that one stops seeing God and starts seeing idols/temples.

I am always intrigued by this question. "What was there at the beginning at Universe?". I still get goosebumps when I think about the edge of the Universe. What is beyond it? Just think about it. What lies beyond the edge of the Universe. Within what is the Universe contained? These are mind boggling questions that Science is trying to answer. But coming to think of it, science has always waged a battle against God. The fact that all phenomenon earlier attributed to God are finding explanations in Science, has fueled this battle further. But I have read this and makes a lot of sense:

"Science can explain what the Universe was and how it was as long ago as when time(t) is almost 0. In mathematical term: 'as limit t-->0'. But till now, there is no explanation of what was there when t=0".And this ladies and gentlemen, is the biggest advantage Religion holds over Science. As long as t=0 is not explained, the concept of God has to be in the picture logically. Until then, believers and non-believers will be at loggerheads over the existence of God.

But just think about it, is this the kind of God we would like to believe in? Think about this as well, "Why do you want to prove/disprove the existence of God?". By doing this, aren't you reducing the powerful entity to a mere object whose existence stands at the mercy of your validity? I would like to believe that the idea of God gives us a chance to believe, not just pray. I don't know if he exists. Also, my world will not change if suddenly there is a scientific theory proving/disproving his existence. For me, I see God around me in small things. You can too, you just don't look hard enough. Every morning I look at my family, I see God. Every day I play with my dog, I see God. I laugh my heart out with my friends on a little stupid joke, I see God. You see God in people around you, things around you and you be in a good place in life. Sometimes, you are so skeptical and bent upon the idea of non-existence of God that you fail to see the beauty around you. Would you really care if there is an explanation or not for the beautiful rainbow? for the aurora-borealis? Yes, it is scientifically explained. Yes, it is a known phenomenon. But don't fail to see the beauty behind this, believe that there is still joy and happiness in the world. You just have to look around.

I recently read "It's not about the bike", the story of Lance Armstrong's battle against cancer. He asked his doctors "Will I make it? What are my chances?". His doctor replied, "50-50". Armstrong was bombarded with series of chemotherapy, so much so that his body became a toxic-house. After an arduous struggle, he made it. He came back and won the Tour de France, the toughest sports competition out there. He won it many a time. Later in one of the casual conversations, he asked his doctor "What was my real chance?Be honest". "Less than 10%. You were one of the worst cases I have seen", his doctor replied. Lance Armstrong goes on to write that he did not and does not believe in God. But he worships people like his doctor who have spent countless years in research so that somewhere someone could live on to see his/her children grow up (his doctor was part of the team which developed the treatment for that form of cancer). You see God in such people. The doctor gave Lance a chance to believe, that is an act of God.



You are reading this article and probably listening to music on the internet. Think about all the people who spent years developing the technology. I see God in them.

I am agnostic. I spent sometime trying to figure out if God exists or not. Now, I don't want to find out. I may not worship idols, I may not have verses at the tip of my tongue and I may not even know the proper names of deities; but I know where to look for God. The next time somebody asks me "Do you know if God exists?". My answer will be "I don't want to know. I know where to look for my God".

Sunday, May 13, 2012

What the IPL means to me




120 seconds was all it took to change the power balance in the city of Manchester, England. Fans went nuts in Italy, Juventus had won the league in Italy. The streets of Madrid transformed into a carnival, the La Liga was finally back in Real Madrid. These were just few of the events in the past few days which indicate the emotional attachment a football fan has towards his club. In Argentina, apparently one of the major reasons for divorces is football-rivalry. The rivalry between Boca Juniors and River Plate in Argentina is legendary, and it has been documented that many couples have parted ways after a Boca-River Plate clash. When the plane carrying players went down, a part of Manchester died with them.



This all seems a bit too extreme, but I have always wondered what drives this madness. Is it money? Stardom? Celebrities? Believe me, I have thought about this. The answer lies in the history. These football clubs were started by ordinary people. People who look like any other ordinary mortal, people who earned just a little more than what their families needed, people who wanted a chance to escape from the world they lived in. When the world was going through a dark phase with waves of unemployment, poverty and hunger; people came together to start something that would bring the whole city together. This provided a chance for people of all classes, all religions to come together. When the club goes into a match, it is like going into war. It is like your brother on the pitch. You pray, you hope, you laugh, you cry, you celebrate and you live. The city lives. You might have worked 12hours a day on the docks and earned just enough to feed you and your family; but on saturday, you pray for Portsmouth. No matter how rich you are, no matter who you are; you cheer for your team. You cheer for your city. From Arsenal's website: "In late 1886, a gaggle of workers from the Woolwich Arsenal Armament Factory decided to form a football team." Coming to think of it: when a club plays football; it is not just any football game, it is a club which your great grandfather built or a club which gave you something to cheer for during your darkest hour. That does seem to be a strong enough reason to cheer for, isn't it? This also explains why even the 3rd division clubs have their stadiums full. The world of football is not about the Manchesters and the Real Madrids, it is about the fans. it is about the spirit of football, and how it influences the culture. If you think football is a sport, you are wrong. It is a culture, and it has no boundaries, no barriers. 

I always wished I could feel for a team as my own. Although I love Manchester United, I never feel as if I am a part of the club. It just does not seem to be mine. I always wanted a team to be "my team". And then RCB happened. The skeptics say "IPL is all about money", "IPL is only about profit". So what? Nobody told that it would be a charity event. I atleast have a team which I can call it my own. The IPL may mean so many things to people. Glamour, money, cricket, evil. But for me, I can finally support my city. On the match day, just for a little while; the city is united. A business executive sits with an auto driver and watches the match, a elite school student asks the paper-boy on the road "is RCB batting?". This is what sport can do to people, this is also what sport can do to the spirit of a city. Just for those 4hrs you forget the differences, the wrong-doings and all the short-comings of people around you. You just live the game. It also teaches you that you can love a West-Indian as much as you love an Indian, that you can love a Sri Lankan just as much as you can love a New Zelander. I am a romantic and a fantasist; I believe it teaches you the way life is supposed to lived.


Maybe it can never build a culture as deep as that of football; since our teams are built by liquor barons. But that does not matter, what matters is that you live the life the way you are supposed to. You love people for who they are rather than judging them because of what the founder of his country did.

Go on. Give your heart to sport. Be it a football team, a cricket team or a tennis player; just give your heart and mind to sport once in a while. It just might teach you how to live.


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

What if the world ends?

December 2012 is when the Apocalypse is predicted. The Mayan calendar has no dates running beyond that month, famous personalities have predicted the end of the world, and apparently there is a dormant volcano under the Yellowstone National Park. There are probably a 100 different reasons that can provide fodder for the dooms day enthusiasts.
I am sure that there are a number of detailed texts that talk about the possibilities of the world ending, and I have no impetus in writing about the same. I would rather want to write about what it means to us, and what it can mean to our lives. I have always wondered “what if the world really ends?” Join me in this thought and lock yourselves in 5 minutes of solitude, and brood over this. What if the world really ends? Have you done everything that you wanted to? Are you doing the things that make you happy?
Talking about this makes me nostalgic. When we were kids, when we were innocent, when we believed that being a bus driver was the greatest job of all, when we were just ourselves, we had dreams of making it big. Making it big as a cook, as a train driver, as an astronaut and maybe a hair stylist. In those years of innocence, when our mind and heart were still not corrupted by the world around us, do you remember how unbiased we were towards the people around us? I had no idea what caste was, I did not care what color the other person was, it did not matter to me what the income of my friend’s family was, and all it took for the person to become my friend was his/her smile. But as we grew older, we grew mature. Or so we believe. Meaning of caste came into the picture, money became important, Baskin Robbins replaced the 1 rupee ice-candy, and we started judging. Owing to the fact that we are the most advanced species on the planet, we have the ability to distinguish and make distinctions. I am mighty sure that when this was bestowed upon us, it was done with the intention that humans can use this for the good of the world. But somewhere, we have lost the plot. We started making distinctions between our fellow humans. Why did we start making distinctions between a boy who is of a dark complexion and a boy who is of a fair complexion? Why did we stop believing in our childhood dreams? Why are we not cooks and drivers? Education gave us the ability to understand the world and its different shades. But this amazing human mind of ours made us conscious of things around us and we started molding ourselves to fit into this society. Inhibitions and limitations are the factors that decide how we live, and not our dreams. Do you know why people drink alcohol? Many of my friends have heard my definition, but let me put it across one more time. “Alcohol is a suppressant of the inhibitory parts of your brain”. Like my friend put it in a much simpler way, it makes you do things that you want to but cant because of inhibition. When you grow up, you drink alcohol so that you can be that kid again. That kid who only saw the world in black and white, that kid who believed that he would be Prime Minister one day. I have seen a number of people who claim that they will one day make it big, and they tell this when they are high on alcohol. Why do we feel inhibited to believe in the childhood dream we once had? Somewhere we have lost that child in us. That child does not necessarily mean losing the innocence, but rather losing that belief in the crazy dreams of ours. Beliefs that the moon was so reachable, the belief that friendship and good faith was all that were needed to make the world a happy place, the belief that money was just a paper with Gandhiji’s photo. We have lost that part of us, but it is never too late to go back.
I beg your forgiveness, for I am very verbose and often lose my way while writing about my ideas. Coming back to the original point, what if the world really ends? Have you thought about what it means to you? Imagine you have 12 more months left before the world ends, have you done everything you wanted to? I am not expressing doubts on what you have currently achieved, but think about all the things you want to do but have not because you could not. Break the shackles that are holding you back, do things that make you happy. Go tell that girl that you love her, what if she says no? the world will end in 12 months anyway. Go find that childhood friend you fought with and say sorry, eat your ego. What if he snubs you? The world will end in 12 months anyway. Tell your parents that everything you are is because of them, you may not get that chance after 12 months. Forget the calories, and forget the cholesterol. Go eat that rich chocolate cake. You will anyways not get it after 12 months. Just think about this, and think about all the things that come to your mind and you want to do. It is time to live life to its fullest, without any regrets.
Imagine lying on a hospital bed, 60 years later and thinking “I should have told that girl that I love her”. Imagine getting up one morning, 20 years later, looking at an empty bed next to you. Imagine looking at young kids playing cricket and thinking “wish I could have played more”. Time is something that is so cruel that it lets you look back, but never lets you go back. We live in a generation where life proceeds at a rapid pace, where you are competing everyday to be on top. While we strive hard to excel in our jobs, we need to realize that we were brought into this world for a reason. The reason was not just to write C programs, nor was it just to perform surgeries. We were brought into this to make this world a better place to live, a happier place to live. It is sad that, as we grow old, we get confused with the fact that ‘doing something for a living’ with ‘living’. For a young age of 22, I can sometimes talk a lot of heady stuff. That is what happens when you realize that you have already spent 22 years of this gift called ‘life’ and have not even done anything on your wish-list. So go out and enjoy life, be that kid again and look at the world around you without prejudice. See the difference for yourself.

I am writing this on a chilly Tuesday morning in the best office in the world, with a cup of coffee by my side and watching the impeccable Dravid eating the lives of the Australian bowlers. This makes me happy. This makes me content. In December 2012 I want to look back and say, I am ok with the world ending now;and that I have done things that made me and the people around me happy.

The Innocent Bomber: The story I wrote 5 years ago

18 years had passed since the Soviets had let Afghanistan from their claws. Nothing had changed since then, other than the falling levels of Opium cultivation. Thousands of youth were now becoming “The Students”. They are famed for all the wrong reasons. They are an organization whose influence runs deep in the war torn nation of Afghanistan. Like parasites, they feed upon the war-wounds of the country. They are feared by the western world, immortalized by the fanatics. They run Afghanistan. They are “The Students”, which in Arabic means, Talibs. We know them better as Taliban.
Amjad Khan, a man in his early forties, like many other had seen the men from ‘The West’, destroy his tribe, among many, which had for many centuries made the slopes of Nowshak its home. His father, Imjat Khan had died fighting the War that was not theirs. They had no interest in the senseless violence down in the planes of Peshawar. As far as they were concerned, Nowshak was their home, their nation and their heaven. The Soviets though pulled them into the war when they made air strikes on the great mountain ranges of Hindu Kush. They destroyed cattle, homes. They destroyed innocent lives. Then arrived the Arabs, then the Americans and they kept coming. It was all like a spiral descent, going round and round the same point but always going down with every round. For the people victimized in this everlasting war, revenge was one thing which stuck to their heart like a leech sticking to your leg. You never know that it is there until it is too late and it starts bleeding. These people were not educated. They did not even know that a country called USA or Russian existed. All they knew was, there is Afghanistan, there is Pakistan and then there is the west. They hated the west.
Amjad Khan was married when he was 19 and he now had 3 children. He, like most others, did not believe in Education, and he himself was uneducated. His children spent hours memorizing the Quran. After all they were doing what their father asked them to and their father told them what he was taught. Amjad’s brush with reality happened in a Mosque on an early December Friday morning. As he got up after his prayers, a rough yet caring voice spoke to him,
“Salaam malik hum”
“Malik hum salaam”, he replied courteously.
“I know all about you and your past. I want to help you”
Amjad had never seen this man and the man said he knew him and wanted to help him. He was baffled by this.
“I know you don’t know me. Meet me near the old mosque near the market tomorrow. You will always be grateful”
The man disappeared as mysteriously as he had appeared. Amjad tried hard to remember if he was one among his old friends, or a relative. Coming up with no answers, he convinced himself that it was a case of mistaken identity. It was always difficult to recognize someone when everyone around has the same turban and a beard.
The whole incident slipped from his mind and he was soon submerged in his daily routines and the calendar ticked like clockwork. Amjad went to the usual prayer place the following day and offered his prayers in the direction of the Holy Mecca. It was only then that he was reminded of the mystery man whom he had met. He tried to forget about it but then a strange thought passed his mind-what if it was actually mistaken identity? What if it was an emergency? He could at least go to the mosque and explain to the man who he really was. Pleased with this idea he walked to the old mosque near the market.
“Welcome my friend. I knew you would come”, said the same voice which had baffled him the previous day.
“I am sorry. I think you are mistaken. I do not even know you”
“You don’t have to. Please follow me”
“But…” he could not complete as the man had gone ahead and was beyond the audible range. Amjad trotted behind him and entered the mosque. He could never have guessed what he would see inside. There was a big hall with ruined walls. In the middle sat business men he recognized, some teenagers he had seen occasionally and the mystery man who was responsible for him being here. All their attention seemed to be focused on a heavily bearded man who spoke with inspiration in his voice, hatred in his voice.
“…..This is a direct assault on Islam” was all that Amjad could catch from the man’s talk. The men dissolved into little groups of their own and spoke in low voices. Nobody seemed to notice his presence.
Amjad decided to resolve this situation and moved towards the mystery man. The man almost instantaneously turned and gave a gentle smile. It was the first time Amjad got a detailed look of his face. It was tanned, bearded and had a scar on the cheek. This seemed unsymmetrical on the short, thin body.
“Why did you call me here? Do you know who I am?”
“I know about you my friend. You are Amjad Khan, son of Imjat Khan. I know you lost your tribe, it is like losing a part of your soul. I am afraid we both are in the same boat”
“how on earth do you know that?”, a bewildered Amjad asked.
“Allah has wished and it is destiny that our paths have crossed”
Amjad Khan had no idea who the man was and yet he was talking about his life and their destinies.
“Allah has a path planned for everyone. The westerners crossed their path and strolled into ours. They thought it to be their own and if that was not enough, they wanted it all by themselves. Centuries have passed and the Holy Quran and the Prophet are still our guiding lights in this dangerous journey. We live on this Earth as long as we have a duty to fulfill. Once completed, we leave and join the beautiful, eternal gardens of Allah”
“why are you telling me this ?”
“do you not see the signs ? Allah provoked you by making you lose your tribe. He calls upon all the holy warriors of Islam. He has foreseen an attack on Islam and The Quran says that it is not crime, but duty to injure or kill your enemy if the cause is to protect Islam.”
“I have to leave”
“think about your children and wife, Amjad Khan”
A shady shack, a tired wife and three innocent faces passed through his mind. They meant more than anything in the world to him.
“what about them ? don’t you dare even think about pulling them into this nonsense”, shouted Amjad. The people around, for the first time turned to have a look at him.
“Anger is important my friend, but only when used at the right time. The Westerners never cared for us, we did nothing wrong, yet they tore us apart. They did it because we are Islam. Please meet me tomorrow here at the same time. You won’t regret this Amjad. I promise”
Amjad felt numb, he felt he was transformed into another dimension. He had no idea as to who the man was, what he wanted and yet what he said made sense to him. The Westerners hurt them for no mistake of theirs, didn’t they?
He went home, had a silent lunch, then a silent dinner of roti and sabji and retired to bed. He kept thinking about the incident in the mosque. He could even sleep a wink. He contemplated on whether to meet the man, what was wrong? He would just listen to him and come home. He would lose nothing. He anyways had no work. It was a very simple situation. He could pull out anytime he wanted. That was the mistake. He was now wandering into a world which had only an entrance gate and no exit. He neither knew why he was entering it, nor did he know what was waiting for him.
After a rather long night, when time seemed to have stopped, Amjad Khan went to the prayer place, offered his prayers and rushed to the Mosque.
The same voice greeted him, “I am glad you came”
He silently led him inside and the heavily bearded man who was speaking the previous day was waiting for him.
“Hello my child. It is indeed a pleasure to have such dedicated Islams. Allah has finally made your path clear, his intentions are that you carry out his mission and he is waiting for you….”
The man who called himself ‘The Shiekh’, spoke almost the same words the mystery man had spoken the previous day, but this was only more refined, more convincing and Amjad Khan had fallen for it.
“You are making the right choice. People wait to do this. But everybody is not so lucky my child. Allah awaits you”
If the mystery man had managed to brainwash Amjad, the Sheikh had rinsed it and removed every little bit of sanity left in him.
After innumerable brain-washing sessions, Amjad was somehow talked into believing that the only way of serving Allah was giving up his life and in the process, taking some non-believers with him. “They take more lives of their own people than that of the enemy”, is an amorphism which suits these fanatics.
On one such meeting, the Sheikh said, “Child, its time. This is your destiny. Allah-o-Akbar”
A strange looking man, with spectacles and a lean body approached Amjad. He held a strange looking apparel. It looked like a jacket, but there were wires all over it.
“Who are you ? and sheikh, what is this ?”, sputtered Amjad.
“there is no need to explain, son. Just wear it”, said the strange looking man rather blandly.
Amjad was given a few more tips and they said, “You will meet Allah tomorrow. May the Lord be with you”. They told him that a car would pick him up at the mosque at 10.00 am and that there was no need for him to know any other detail.
It might seem that ‘volunteers’ are trained and stay in waiting line for months, but its logically senseless. It is not feasible to give them so much of time, simply because it was too much a time for them to realize their mistake. It is like bread, it has to be sold as soon as its baked.
Amjad Khan ate through his dinner quietly that night and looked at his children.
“Baba, I don’t feel like eating”, said the youngest of the lot.
Amjad Khan looked at him with an expressionless face.
“Please feed him. The child has not been eating properly. He might fall sick”, said his wife with a tired face.
Amjad monotonously fed the child. He was physically there, but his mind was roaming the gardens of Allah.
“Maa, food is so tasty in Baba’s plate. I want another roti” the child munched through the roti with gleeful innocence.
Amjad’s eyes filled up with tears, but he never let them roll down. He retired to bed, but purely due to the physical exhaustion, went to sleep.
He woke up very early the next day, finished his prayers. He sat with his children, thinking about all the moments he spent with them. The birth of each one of them was more special than the other. He wished to give them a life better than his. But his encounter with the ‘Messengers of Allah’ had changed him. He had not even once thought about his family. But before he could stroll down that path, the clock ticked 9.50.
He said he would go to the market and left with a strange jacket under his dress and tears in his eyes. It was 10 when he reached the Mosque and a red car was already waiting for him. An unknown man was inside.
“Amjad Khan ? Sallam-malik hum”
“Malik hum Salaam”, he replied and he got in.
He was informed that there was a button the driver would press, then they would count ten and then it was “Destination:Allah’s Gardens”
As the car rolled, Amjad was lost in his world. All he could think was his family. This was strange as they had never appeared to him ever in the earlier months. The radio was broadcasting an Urdu news update
“…innocent children lost their families in the suicide bombing. With no parents, the future is very dark for these little darlings….”
It hit him like a rock. Who would take care of his little ones? What would he gain by this? If it was so good, why did the Shiekh himself not do it?
Tears rolled down his cheeks as pictures of his son eating roti from his hands rolled into his heart. He wanted to pullout.
“Bhaisab…”
A ‘click’ cut through his lines, and also his life. The button had been pressed.
10
“…He could pull out anytime he wanted …” is how he had thought in the beginning.
9…8…7…6…5
He would leave his children fatherless; he would leave his wife a widow. This was a crime.
4…3
He would not only leave his family torn, but also many others’. He did not want to do this.
“Baba…” echoed his child’s voice.
2…1
If only….

Followers